Perfect for Thanksgiving Turkey or Roast of Lamb
I don’t know anyone, anywhere on the face of the earth that has found home in so many places as I have. I am at it again.
Don’t get me wrong, I am abundantly grateful for every single one, whether it was a small nook in a cranny somewhere or a massive villa, no matter how big or small, short or long – the people, the lifestyle, the places opened new horizons and altered my reality forever. I feel eternally BLISSED with precious memories of each and every person into who’s eyes I have peered deeply and each place I have called home.
Never having left my small community, except to vacation in Jamaica and the Caribbean, I thought I had achieved homesteading when I purchased my first house at 17 years of age. Soon after, I was married and running the family business with my husband. Till one day, nine years later, life as I knew it, self imploded when my husband and our maid of honour became lovers. Marianne Faithfull wrote a song which says it all. Why’d ya do it? Our maid of honour gave me her album Broken English to mark the occasion.
Marianne Faithfull’s Ballad of Lucy Jordan catapulted me next into riding through the streets of Paris in a white sports car with the warm wind blowing in my hair, by the age of 27. I accepted a ride from a guy at a cafe in Paris who just happened to have a white sports car – I had never driven in Paris before – accustomed to northern Ontario law abiding 60 MPH speed limits – it was the scariest ride of my life – especially once we hit the speeds on the peripherique. Yet, in no time, with my international driver’s license in hand, I was shifting gears to keep up in my R5 and wasn’t scared at all.
I spent the next 10 years globe trotting, living in several different lands and working in various industries. I homesteaded again, remaining in the same house and blissfully paused for our son’s “education” for 12 wonderful years. His father had left already when he took his lawyer as his lover, and when our son left home, so did I. I Unplugged. I was on a mission.
In pursuit of shattering the limiting beliefs about wellness and sharing the healing phenomena I had discovered in practicing Auricular Acupressure to music with the world, I found home on Ibiza in 2008. Warmly welcomed in a myriad of places amongst some of the most astonishing people in the world, I feel right at home there.
I BLISSFULLY shared my art which was welcomed all over the island, until I fell and severed the tendon to my thumb halting my ability to share and practice rather abruptly and catapulted me back to my home land to have reconstructive hand surgery. I lost the ability to use my hand in 2013 for a solid 3 months while it healed in a cast.
I spent another 6 months rehabilitating it so that I could do things again. Retraining my newly constructed hand to do normal things like holding a hair brush in my hand, a toothbrush, a knife and fork, was long and tedious. My handwriting was eligible until about a year ago- now it looks almost like my original script, but i could type and talk so I worked in the machine typing and talking while i rebuilt my hand.
The greatest therapy for me however, was gradually returning to my art of reflexology where my right hand grew in synch with my left with each set of ears I’ve simultaneously squeezed. My left hand encouraged my right hand to keep up in my ability to open and close my thumb and index and then let go to squeeze. My hands are equally strong now thanks to the ears I’ve been squeezing up here in the north, where only the brave ones, who’ve tired to find relief in the medical system and failed have been my gurus. One set of ears at a time teaching me volumes about wellness. The time has come to get back to where I was in sharing that knowing with others
Now that my hand is strong enough to return to my art full time again, and the universe has mysteriously cleared the slate for me to do so, I want to squeeze people’s ears to music again. I need to go to where the music is, so it’s time to move on. I am leaving the north for Toronto, where I’ll have access to some beats to work with and many more sets of ears to squeeze and share the self healing miracle we all have attached to our head.
I have lost count of the number of places I have called home since I left home when my son did, but I can fondly remember the feel of each of the people and places. Each offered a new entourage and environment for me to devour with great enthusiasm and learn and grow with. I welcome with tremendous appetite each new adventure. Whenever “things” get lighter I know I am about to bounce. It’s a law of nature, you can’t move around the globe with all of your worldly possessions in tow. You have to let go.
North Bay has served me well as an incubator for my hand recovery but the time has come to expand my services to reach more people so it’s time, once again, to move on.
Whether by choice or circumstance, moving on, every single time, makes me feel more than I had ever felt before, about stepping out into the Great Mystery in my chosen direction. The unknown doesn’t scare the crap out of me – much – anymore but when it does I know I am right on course to fulfilling my highest good. A bit of an edge of fear for good standing, an adventurous amount of curiosity for excitement, a full measure of love for stability and a leap of faith is all takes!
I welcome your ears with open arms, strong hands and nimble fingers!
A greater understanding
Of forgiveness –
Of heart emoticon
I’ll never forget the bitter bite of reality with my mother’s denial and my father’s profound awakening when I read them their letters. My father took his life. In denial, my mother continues to commit a slow suicide.
This letter of forgiveness written by Teza to her father should be heard by all because…
Thing is we aren’t special – we aren’t special at all. Every where I was, from the time I was a little girl, no matter where in the world I landed, I have experienced, witnessed or heard first hand accounts of the degradation of women and children by the men, and the mother’s and women who turned a blind eye to the sexual trespasses on the children.
It is not a new story – it’s been practiced at all levels of hierarchy for eons. In some cultures it is quite ok. If not by dominance, with porn. The taboo is that it be known the degree to which it permeates reality – the reality you live in – your preachers, your teachers and your politicians have it all pegged – just turn on the TV – women & men are now desensitized to the point they accept being objectified as a sex aids – from the fairy tales right on up. There is so much more life they are robbed of as a result. Their true identity, killing their life FORCE
Everyone who has had their sexual boundaries trespassed, or knows someone who has, would gain profound insight on so many levels by listening to this beautiful letter of forgiveness and heal deeply.
Thank you for your courage Teza
Eternally grateful for this ride!
Amazingly every single generation before mine had at least 8 children
There is a global depopulation plan in place since about the time I was born. I have two living children – 2 boys. I had a son out of wedlock and was placed in a home for unwed mothers to expedite the situation – he was taken from me without my consent and given in adoption. Then I was told I would never get pregnant again. My second child, my only daughter, was still born even though i had spent the last month of my pregnancy in the hospital, there were no doctors available to assist in the delivery, not even a nurse was present. I had an IUD inserted. My second son was my only other pregnancy and the doctor talked me into having him by C-Section to be sure he would be ok. He also talked me into giving by baby experimental vaccines. My mother-in-law talked me into having him circumcised. So he’d been physically, intellectually and spiritually compromised before he even began, all without consent. I did not take birth control after the birth of my second son but was unable to conceive.
In hindsight it is all so obvious. Kevin Mugur will shake your reality to the core, and hopefully urge you to act on his Call To Action to put the goodness for all species in front of all of the people instead of in front of just a few.
My Nanook is gone – her demise was sudden – ! can’t stop wailing feeling such loss at how much she means to me… almost howling actually …. more mehowling – she was in such vibrant health and so suddenly taken from life.
I was awoken around 4:30 am when it happened by the sound of a thud when she was hit. I did not make the connection of the sound that woke me to her being hit until the next day, slowly, inkling it’s way into my consciousness.
She was missing from her usual spot. She is… was always in bed with me when i wake/woke up in the morning, has been every night since we began cohabiting. It all seems so unreal to be speaking of her in the past tense as I weep through tears to write this. She may just be enjoying the sunrise out on the porch I thought but found no sign of her anywhere I could go in my nightgown. Trying not to panic hysterically I stood at the windows from the second floor calling her name, letting her know I am up, trying to chase bad thoughts out of my consciousness. She had never gone missing for more than a few minutes at most before. When she did not return I dressed and headed out to look for her, maybe I would find her out there wounded on the side of the road somewhere. I hoped, but my heart sank with every block i peddled on my bike hollering her name, then stopping to listen for her reply, she never did. I knew she was in a very bad way I could sense it with every cell of my being. Vanished into thin air? I had to find her. Next place I thought of looking I called and found her there at the Humane Society in very bad condition. Her head bashed, skull fractured, jaw broken, shoulder shattered and front legs broken. I fell to my knees while on the phone learning her condition was very bad when she was brought in at 4:44. as it suddenly dawned on me that the sound that woke me up was her being injured. I made my way to her and she held on till I got there I think she recognized me in her final moments – i gave her one last ear squeeze, her most favorite thing, and sent her off in bliss…
It was 12 years ago I went to visit my sister for Halloween when her cat had just had a batch of kittens – 8 weeks old. The only calico one of the bunch came to me, the others ignored me. This kitten chose me, she nibbled my baby toe wanting to suck it and screeched her own unique mehowrl. She would not leave me, so she came home with me and to the lord master Frodo – he taught her everything a yorkie needed to know – except that she was a cat. She discovered this in the spring when she went outside for the first time and realized she could climb trees – annoying Frodo all to hell. They spent their days in and out of the house in total freedom (within the confines of the fenced yard) on our land.
Nanook learned to stay safe she needed to avoid the nest of rattlers in the rock pile out back but Frodo never learned to avoid the skunks. He reveled in Nanook’s hunting abilities and she often shared the kill with him tho he seldom ate it. Frodo went on to others needing him a few years ago but Nanook remained with me or with someone holding her for me while i found a place for her and I. Living with pets one needs to be very selective of their environment. As a home owner pet ownership was easy – not so as a tenant as i discovered after I sold our home. Finding pet friendly accommodations has been a veritable challenge to say the least. At one point Nanook even had to share a home with a cat unfriendly dog or two or three! Lastly our home for over a year has been cat heaven with a field of mice, chipmunks galore, and her last bird was a partridge. She got the meat I saved the feathers. She has been one of my greatest teachers
Just when the loss of her felt unbearable I received this message from a friend on facebook
Abundance, my heart goes out to you, for it is so evident the physical and cognitive loss that you are experiencing with Nanook, What a magnificent cat. In short, just yesterday it was confirmed that my beloved companions clock is ticking. Excellent idea to go for a swim as you know it will help you to breathe, relax and allow your cognittive sense to reminisce with Nanook, one on one, as it was time for Nanook to move on yet will always be a part of you. The connection between the two of you is very strong, how wonderful to have had the opportunity to share time together in the physical sense. Maybe just maybe Nanook moving on is a positive thing, for the two of you, as maybe Nanook knew that his/her Love, Needs, sharing, learning, very special companion, positive healing energy helped you for the time allowed needed and shared, and it was not only the time for Nanook to move on to another adventure a different spectrum and knew it was time for you needed and it is time for you to move on to a different adventure as well. Just remember Nanook will always be with you in Spirit, Abundance. My Love, my Heart, my positive energy is being sent to you wrapped with warm calmness. I hope what I am sending you came out right for you to understand. My mind is in a cocoon, or a daze right now, so apologies if it didn’t come out right. I Just care, and literally know and feel what you are going thru, I’ve been through it, and am faced with It again. Take care always, Abundance,
to which I replied
I hear exactly what you are saying and it is with tremendous gratitude that I read your words of compassion and understanding! I feel so blissed having had her guidance over all of these years. it would be selfish of me to want that sort of companionship from her all to myself forever – others should know it too. We communicated very well together, verbally, telepathically and through touch. she has taught me so much about spirit, about life. in hindsight she gave warning signs… making sure she said her final farewells to those she loved… including me – hanging on until i got there to have a final goodby… bringing me birds so i would have the feathers and she the meat. her last one was a partridge! in preparation for the upcoming shift in our lives … we knew it was coming but i thought we’d be shifting together. now with only this physical unit to move around i have been freed in ways i had not even fathomed i was restricted in before. and as my stars would have it i am predestined to have these intense tragic endings to life stages. deep dark painful deaths only for the phoenix to rise again from it’s own ashes to be reborn again, stronger, wiser and more free each time to soar to even greater joys in this adventure of life – it’s ups and downs are here to guide us in the direction of our greatest good. I sense the loss of her physically has not removed her aura, still, missing her physically greeting me at the door talkative and affectionate wanting a belly rub on entry….the signal she gave by the pressure she exerted with her tail on my legs to let me know what it was she wanted at that particular moment in time … i keep expecting her to bounce in through the window on the door with a thump the way she always did are the things i sorely miss right now. – she was part of my every moment at home we were cohabitants i miss brushing her – her favorite pastime. I have howled the sorrow out of my lungs for the last 24 hours, this will continue til it’s released … after i awoke at that “thud” time again, 4am still dark out, read and found solace enough in my friend’s words to go back to sleep sleep and Nanook came to me then. She showed me the damage she had suffered in ways i could not see as it was covered by her skin and fur – half her face was missing, there was just a huge red hole where her eye used to be. She was missing parts. She showed me how bad it really was and that surrendering her to euthanasia was for her greatest good.